Thursday, 25 February 2010

Last night was one of the worst of my life. This is very personal stuff that maybe shouldn't go on a blog about moving to Japan but my reasons for going are tied together with the need to get away, move on and do something I've only ever dreamed of.

My ex boyfriend turned up at a gig that he knew I would be at...with another girl. It completely blindsided me and I'll be honest here, I went ape shit. I pulled him over and screamed in his face. He was terrified and did what any natural fucker would do and blamed it on "not knowing" and then, worst of all, me.

It ended with me being in one of the worst emotional states I've ever known. I am not an angry person. I know that carrying hate around with me does nothing but hinder me getting on with my life and being happy. Pain is different, pain can be turned into positive things and I can grow and learn from it. Also pain goes away with time but if you haven't learnt anything from it then it wasted time.

I know that this will be a distant memory and I will look back with a different perspective and smile. I am 22 years old, and while it feels painful and confusing right now this is a very small part of my life. There are so many bigger things to be happy about, my life is about to change dramatically and a great adventure is coming. I think that going through this will make me appreciate what I am doing even more.

6 weeks and 1 day until I am on that plane.

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